Choosing a coach
A mostly unbiased guide by an obviously biased author
Step 1: Define what you're trying to fix
Be specific about the problem, not just the symptoms
Write down the real issue
- • "I avoid difficult conversations and problems get worse" (not "I need better communication")
- • "I can't delegate effectively so I'm always the bottleneck" (not "I need time management")
- • "My team doesn't trust my decisions because I change direction too often" (not "I need leadership skills")
- • "I get defensive when challenged and shut down good ideas" (not "I need executive presence")
Step 2: Find candidates
Look in these three places for quality referrals
- • Your network: Ask colleagues, mentors, and industry peers who they've worked with. Focus on people who've had positive coaching experiences.
- • People with your job: Reach out to others in similar roles at different companies (LinkedIn works well for this) and ask about coaches who understand your specific challenges.
- • Company resources: Check with HR for preferred coaches or partnerships, and ask who they've seen get results with executives in your industry.
Step 3: Check experience and background
Don't pay to be someone's practice client
- • Relevant experience: Have they been where you are? Look for coaches who understand your role, industry pressures, and can speak your language without lengthy explanations. For example, if you're a or , find someone who's navigated those specific challenges.
- • Coaching experience: Find coaches who aren't learning how to coach on your dime. Ask how long they've been coaching executives and what results they've achieved.
- • Credentials: Some excellent coaches (👋) don't have formal certifications. Focus more on real-world results than certificates.
Step 4: Run a real trial session
Don't just chat, work on your actual problem
- • Bring a real situation: Come with a specific challenge happening right now, including context about the people and politics involved
- • Test their approach: Do they ask about organizational context, not just your behavior? Do they challenge your assumptions without making you defensive? (Learn more about )
- • Look for practical value: You should leave with specific actions you can take this week and at least one "aha" moment
- • Trust your gut: Can you picture being completely honest with them? Are you excited (not just willing) to work together?
What good coaching feels like
As one former client put it: good coaching sessions leave you with "calming clarity with a bit of anxiety." You should feel like there's a lot of clarity about what needs to change, but some anxiety because now it's on your plate to actually improve and make things different.
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